Why Divorce Rates Are Rising in India — An Evidence-Based Psychological Perspective

People’s expectations have changed — quickly

Many people today bring to marriage expectations that earlier generations rarely did. People want emotional intimacy, equal partnership, sexual satisfaction, and personal growth. These are all reasonable hopes — but they’re also high standards.

When two people assume their partner should automatically meet those needs, disappointment follows. In therapy I see couples who never talked about basic expectations (money, household roles, emotional support) and then feel betrayed when the “invisible” expectations aren’t met. That gap between expectation and reality creates resentment, which chips away at the relationship over time.

Mental health matters — for both partners

Mental health isn’t something that stays locked in one person’s head; it shapes how people act, feel, and connect.

• Anxiety and chronic stress make people withdrawn, irritable, or hypervigilant — all of which harm closeness.

• Depression can make someone emotionally unavailable and reduce interest in shared activities or sex.

• Unprocessed trauma or insecure attachment from childhood shows up as mistrust, jealousy, or avoidance in adult relationships.

When one or both partners struggle and don’t get timely help, small problems grow into reasons to leave.

Communication — or the lack of it — wrecks marriages

Good relationships are built on messy, ordinary conversations. But many couples don’t have the skills to talk when it matters. Common patterns I see:

• One partner shuts down and avoids conflict; the other pushes harder.

• Complaints become criticism, and criticism becomes contempt.

• People “mind-read” and assume their partner’s intentions without asking.

These simple breakdowns in everyday communication create distance. Over time, emotional distance often becomes a legal separation.

Economic independence and changing gender roles

Women’s rising education and financial independence have been a huge positive — but they also change the marital equation. When a woman has options outside the marriage, she is less likely to stay in a situation that’s emotionally harmful or unfulfilling. That’s empowerment, not the cause of the problem — the cause usually lies in unmet needs or repeated harms within the relationship.

At the same time, both partners often juggle careers, household work, and parenting. If roles and expectations aren’t negotiated, stress and resentment pile up.

Social stigma is falling — and that’s part of the story

In the past, the social price for divorce was so high that many stayed in unhappy marriages. That is changing. Conversations about mental health, individual rights, and dignity are more common. People are more willing to leave relationships that damage their mental well-being. That shift doesn’t explain why marriages fail; it explains why more people choose a life that protects their emotional health.

Technology, dating culture, and comparative unhappiness

Social media and easy access to alternative relationship models change what people compare their marriages to. Constant exposure to curated lives and endless possibilities can fuel dissatisfaction. Add to that dating apps and the sense that “there might be someone better” — and some couples start to question staying rather than working through problems.

When marriages end for healthy reasons — and when they don’t

It’s important to separate two realities:

1. Some divorces are necessary and healthy — for example, when there’s abuse, chronic betrayal, or a partner refuses to change harmful patterns. Leaving can be a life-saving, sanity-saving choice.

2. Other divorces come from solvable problems left unattended: poor communication, untreated mental health issues, or avoidable resentments. These are the ones therapy, honest conversations, and small changes often prevent.

What psychology recommends — practical steps that help

If you care about saving or repairing a marriage, or simply want to avoid repeating patterns, here are practical, evidence-backed steps:

• Talk early and kindly. Bring up issues before they harden into grievance. Use “I” statements.

• Learn conflict skills. Calmly name the problem, state your need, and invite solutions.

• Get mental health help. Anxiety, depression, and trauma respond to treatment — which improves relationships.

• Try couples therapy sooner rather than later. Small patterns become entrenched; early work is more effective.

• Negotiate roles and money explicitly. Don’t assume your partner knows what you want.

• Prioritize connection. Regular shared time, small rituals, and physical closeness matter more than grand gestures.

A final note

Rising divorce rates are a reflection of social change and personal choice. For some, it’s liberation from harmful situations. For others, it’s the outcome of patterns that could have been changed with support. As a clinician, I don’t judge the outcome — I care about people’s mental well-being. My hope is that couples get better at spotting problems early, asking for help, and negotiating lives that protect both their individual dignity and their capacity for connection.